Tuesday, November 09, 2004

Pet Etiquette 101

I have a big dog and a goofball puppy. I am fully aware that when someone knocks at the door or God forbid, rings the doorbell, the dogs go insane and charge to the door and will want to lavish whoever is behind the door with all sorts of insane doggy attention. I am also aware that not all people are dog lovers, especially if they are big dogs and crazy hyper puppies. So, out of consideration for these people, as well as my own sanity, I generally put the dogs outside when I have or am expecting guests. (If you drop-by unannounced, well, you take your chances. I would call first.) I guess I feel that it is somewhat impolite to inflict the people who I invite into my home with spazy face lickings, flying fur, and attempted crotch sniffings. If my guest asks to play with the dogs then I will bring them in. BUT I think it is good pet etiquette to at least offer the choice. (Please note that this rule does not apply to my parents, Jack's parents, his sister and her husband, and my friend Holly - you people will just have to deal with my dogs and my children - um, sorry it's a package deal.)

Okay for the cat people, I for one do not like to be accidentally shot with a squirt bottle because I happened to be in the line of fire when your cat was caught red handed on the countertop. But aside from that one time I had to walk around with a big wet spot on my blouse, I don't have a problem with cats. (Unless their is an obvious litterbox odor.) Cats seem to have that innate ability to blend into their environment. Most of the time, I don't even realize is a cat in the house - the people who are allergic to cats will be able to tell you right away though...

I do however have a bone to pick with the bird people.

Granted, I am obviously not a bird person, I don't really understand why a person would want a bird as a pet to begin with, and they just kind of freak me out in general. Anyway, my issue with the bird people, and I think others would agree, is that I really find it irritating when you have your bird just flying around your house and expect your guests to be okay with this situation. Some might consider this really bad pet etiquette. You see, it is simply really hard to have a conversation when there is a bird flapping and squawking around your face. In fact, the flapping and squawking tends to make concentrating on anything except the flapping and squawking virtually impossible. I would also like to add that I for one especially take offense when the bird then takes an obscene liking to my hair. I do not enjoy having a bird sit on my head at any time, anywhere, for any reason. It makes me feel violated and dirty and I don't think that is how you want the guests at your dinner party to feel. Bird people, my advice to you let's say when hosting a dinner party, is simply that you may want to put your damn bird in its damn cage, is all I'm saying.

Side note to Caesar the Cockatiel: You had better watch it bird! The next time you use my head as a landing pad I will open the front door and give you a little more room to stretch you wings. HA!

I think that I will have chicken for dinner tonight.
Mmm... Barbeque chicken.

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