Wednesday, January 19, 2005

Jake the Shlab is getting “tutored”

Last night’s telephone conversation with my mother.

My mother (laughing): So what has that free dog of yours wrecked today?
Me (tired): Oh, let’s see… a deck of cards, and it looks like he got into something black…

My Mother: Black? What?
Me: I don’t know there are just these itty-bitty black pieces of something all over the floor.

My Mother: What do you think it could be?
Me (concerned): I have no idea.

My Mother: Well what do they look like?
Me (irritated): Little bitty pieces of hard black plastic!

Emma (calling to me from the den): Mom! I can’t find my Sleeping Beauty movie.

Me (cringing): Ohhh nooo…

My Mother: What? What is she looking for?
Me: Mystery solved.

Emma (from the den): Hey there’s a bunch of black tape behind the couch….
*Rustle, Rustle, rustle….

Emma (shrieking): MOM!!! JAKE ATE MY MOVIE! JAKE IS RUINING MY LIFE!

My Mother (matter of fact): You need to get that free dog of yours fixed.
Me (crabby): I KNOW!

* Appointment is booked for January 28th.
Lick ‘em while you got ‘em Jakey-boy.

9 Comments:

Blogger AnonymousCoworker said...

Ouch! Necessary, but sad. I don't even like clipping my fingernails.

12:11 PM  
Blogger darth said...

ouch..poor jake!

:sausagedog: has a thing for remote controls-she's eaten 2 TiVo remotes, 2 TV remotes, and a VCR remote in 3 years. not to mention shoes, hats, baseball mitts...nothing is safe from those jaws of chewing death.

a VCR tape tho...damn.

2:56 PM  
Blogger Scott said...

Do you ever read any Dave Barry? (www.davebarry.com) Your stuff reminds me of his stuff when you write about your family's hijinks. Funny stuff. Keep it up!

11:40 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

ryn: "whoo-hoo-hooo...!"

dr. dave

(clapclapclapclap!)

11:37 AM  
Blogger deanne said...

We could NEVER leave our dog in the car alone - we'd come back and he'd have chewed the head rest off!

3:32 PM  
Blogger honestyrain said...

you have been compared to dave barry. i think this is a fitting compliment. i enjoy your humor as well.

you ok with being my blog of the week next week?

9:04 AM  
Blogger Lexagirl said...

Why thanks honestyrain - that would be lovely.

Scott - thanks to you for such a nice comment as well.

1:59 PM  
Blogger DrinkJack said...

Jake and honestyrain's husband now have something in common. Poor guys. Brave souls.

9:40 PM  
Blogger Tammy said...

Poor Jake! And poor Emma and her movie, too.

Oh...Michele sent me...via honestyrain. Great blog, I'll be back!

11:18 AM  

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